lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
