you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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