why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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