fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
