Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
