I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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