I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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