Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
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You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Houston, we have a squirter
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
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The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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