I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
