420 ftw
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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