im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
