:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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