they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
