omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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