I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
