I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I love having hate sex.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We are all done wearing pants today
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
