We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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