He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
