My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You are a genius and a whore.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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