he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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