I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
