Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
