The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
