don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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