I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
two words...techno handjob
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
