she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
