Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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