i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
