mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
