It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
