there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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