I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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