9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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