I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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