i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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