I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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