so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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