Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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