But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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