You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize