Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
