his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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