I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
