I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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