Already got asked if we're dating
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
