On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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