Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
