I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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