i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
