She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
