Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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