is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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