There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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