i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want to have your abortion
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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