I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
