The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
