nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
