We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
