ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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