he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
